10 Real Benefits Of Being A Blonde

I'm blonde. I like being blonde and I've found it to be extremely useful. In this non-exhaustive list I outline the reasons for my preference. Some of my points are virtually clichés but I see no reason to omit these.

1. Blondes have more fun! How do I know this? I once dyed my hair a deep, mahogany brown. I stopped having fun immediately. However, when I returned to my natural hair colour all the fun came back into my life.
2. Gentlemen prefer blondes. Very true. How do I know this (see above)? Not only did I stop having fun when I turned brunette, my boyfriend dumped me too. Surprise, surprise, when I returned to my natural state he wanted to "try again". I dated his best friend in reply to his request.
3. There is a perception that blondes are stupid! This can be advantageous to blondes like me - highly educated and very able to manipulate others. In extreme cases this misperception leads to nasty off-hand treatment of blondes. I advise all blondes suffering this to mark the cards of perpetrators and move on. There will come a time…
4. Blondes in the Sun. The sun can have a magnificent effect on all hair types. It brings out highlights and lowlights, shades and tones. This is most true of blonde hair. I'm lucky too as I have green eyes and tan, golden brown, very easily. This is a knock-out combination and is irresistibly attractive to Latin men. In Spain for instance it is very difficult to buy yourself a drink in a bar and when anywhere in Andalusia you are given flowers by many admiring men. Be warned though, this can be slightly embarrassing.
5. Blonde hair dries quicker. I reckon that my hair dries twice as fast as my brunette friends. Over the course of a lifetime this will give me a few extra weeks to spend enjoying myself.
6. Pink, blue, orange, green, red and yellow hair-dyes tale well in blonde hair. For anyone into Punk fashions therefore, being blonde is a useful asset. A brunette punk would have to dye her or his hair blonde before using a vibrant colour dye.
7. Blonde hair looks better with: little black dresses, most uniforms and academic cloaks and mortar boards.
8. Blondes get the best men! You can't argue against this one. We select our partners from the many available to us.
9. Blondes can write lists! Do you need any more proof of this!
10. Blondes turn grey and it doesn't look at all bad! My grey hairs blend in with my blonde tones. My hair looks more beautiful now than it has ever done!

I could go on (see 9) for at least another twenty points - but I'm a blonde and as such I get easily bored.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a spoof - nobody could be as bad at that! I hope you read this far and realise but, I'm amused to think that I could have made your blood boil. Tee hee!